To mark the launch of our #NeverMoreThanOnce gallery, we are sharing the experiences of women who have completed the 18-month Pause Programme. In this blog post, Anita* reflects on her relationship with her Pause Practitioner and the impact this had on her life.
When I met Michelle [my Pause Practitioner], I was at a low point in my life again. I’d just had my fourth children taken into care of family. I’d just come out of a thirteen-year relationship of domestic violence and was living in a hotel. I was working with the social worker and housing to get a new place to live. When I got a place, housing and Michelle helped me to get furniture, as I had none. I had low confidence and was anxious all the time. Michelle has helped me come out of my shell. I did videos for Pause, which helped my confidence. I got my nails done, went to a pantomime and I’ve been bowling – which I would never have done otherwise. I never used to think of myself or put myself first, whereas now I do (apart from my children, they will always be first).
My life was so disorganised. Now I have everything organised. My property was always a mess. So when I got this flat, I was deep cleaning every day. Now, I do a more healthier cleaning routine. I pay all my bills and am in the process of paying all my debts off.
Instead of having a negative outlook on life, I now have a positive outlook. Before Pause, my mental health was pretty bad. Now I am more positive and have a better lifestyle. My mental health hasn’t been as dark.
If it wasn’t for Michelle or Pause, I would probably be back on the drink (I am three years sober, also thanks to Change Grow Live). If it wasn’t for Michelle or Pause, I wouldn’t be the better person or better parent that I am today.
Anita’s story demonstrates the difference the Pause Programme makes, helping women build a positive future for themselves and their families. This support is proven to break the cycle of repeat removals and reduce the number of children entering care, thereby avoiding the devastating impact on families and making significant savings to the public purse (an evaluation of Pause found that for every £1 spent, £4.50 is saved over four years, and £7.61 over 18 years).
Despite the positive impact of post-removal support – for families and the public purse – it is not available in more than half of local authorities, leaving thousands of parents struggling to cope with existing difficulties while facing the additional trauma, grief and stigma of losing a child.
Anita’s story reiterates the importance of ensuring all birth parents who have children removed from their care are offered specialist post-removal support, so that it never happens more than once
*Not her real name.
