One in five children in the UK experience domestic abuse. This can have a profound impact on the rest of their lives.
For Baby’s Sake is the first programme for expectant parents that takes a whole-family approach, starting in pregnancy and dealing with the entire cycle and history of domestic abuse, identifying and directly addressing the trauma(s) that lie at the heart of the problem. It usually continues until the baby is two, covering the important time when a child’s brain is developing and bonds are forming.
Paula James, our Quality & Innovation Lead, sat down with the comms team at For Baby’s Sake to share more about Pause’s work and the impact it has on women and their children. Below are some extracts from the interview.
How does Pause address and support women who have experienced domestic abuse, and what measures are in place to ensure their safety and wellbeing?
Domestic abuse is the most common reason why children are referred to children’s social care and almost all the women that we work with are, or have been, subject to domestic abuse. However, women who have had children removed from their care are often forgotten about, leading to continued abuse and retraumatisation.
These women are often ineligible for support from specialist domestic abuse services, as women who have children in their care are prioritised for refuge placements. Even when specialist support is offered, they may struggle to engage due to ongoing coercive control or their mistrust of professionals. Further, a lot of support services requires the woman to leave the relationship in order to access them but, for a variety of reasons, they may not be ready to yet. At Pause, we consistently fill this gap in services. Much of our work with women is around helping women to recognise abuse addressing the impact of domestic abuse and accessing the right support, and also helping professionals to understand the unique challenges facing women subject to domestic abuse who have had children removed from their care.
These unique challenges include women continuing to experience abuse (including coercive control) when they try to maintain relationships with their children. For example, we work with a significant number of women, whose children are placed in the care of their paternal family, who report feeling trapped to stay in a relationship with their abuser through fear they otherwise would be prevented from seeing their children.
We are also beginning to gain some really distressing insight into women’s experiences of the family court and how domestic abuse is responded within the court and by legal professionals, including:
- Women, who despite having injunctions against their abuser, are not protected in family courts and are forced to attend at the same time as their abuser
- Professionals dismissing or minimising the impact of domestic abuse
- Legal orders being made that require women to facilitate contact with their abuser.
What are some of the most significant challenges Pause staff face when working with women who have experienced trauma and repeated removals, and how do they address these challenges?
Women who have had children removed from their care often struggle to trust professionals. Pause Practitioners think carefully about how to approach each woman. This includes thinking about how we make contact and share information about the programme and also the resources we take when we meet them – this can be a care pack, a hot drink or a bunch of flowers if the meeting is around an important day for the woman. It is important that engaging with Pause feels different to the recent interactions with professionals that led to the removal of the woman’s children, which often have felt traumatising.
Women working with Pause often have high levels of complex, interconnected and unmet needs. Other services often do not understand the impact of child removal on women and how this influences their decisions. They may feel women are making ‘unwise’ decisions and choices and this can impact how they view women and the service they are offered. For example, if a woman is offered a refuge out of area but has contact with her children that she will then be unable to attend, she may not choose to take the refuge place. Professionals may see this as her being unwilling to work with them, when in reality she is prioritising her children over her own safety.
Pause Practitioners work holistically with women on their goals and aim to remove barriers to working with us and other services through working with women at their pace, on days and times that work for them and in spaces where they feel most safe and comfortable. By rebuilding that trust between women and services, the ultimate goal is that women need us less and can access the right services in future.
From your perspective at Pause, what future policy changes or developments do you believe are essential to better support families at risk of having their children taken into care?
At Pause, we use the evidence and expertise we gather through our work with women to work to improve the systems and services that impact families with experience of children’s social care. Our influencing priorities are:
- To improve the children’s social care system, so that no family experiences the removal of a child from their care more than once. You can read more about our policy asks to end repeat removals
- To ensure safe, supportive relationships between families and children can be built and maintained when a child is in care.
- To eliminate the disadvantages facing families with experience of children’s social care, such as domestic abuse, poverty and homelessness.
Listen to our co-produced podcast series, In a Mother’s Mind, to hear more from women about the issues that affect them and where they’d like to see change.
Reflecting on your time with Pause, what has been your proudest moment or most significant achievement with the organisation?
My proudest achievements have been sharing in the joy of women’s journeys, seeing them change, grow and achieve things they never thought possible. Seeing women who are at the lowest point in their lives develop hope and begin to dream again is a privilege I am grateful for every day.
I used to say it felt like magic – but it isn’t magic, it’s hard work for women and Pause Practitioners. Building relationships, sharing pain, grief, shame, loss, understanding trauma, developing coping skills, containment, seeing things through, starting again, being brave, keeping going, working with family, holding hope, building resilience, listening, really seeing the woman, staying, being consistent, doing what you say. None of this is magic but it leads to amazing change.
This interview was originally published on For Baby’s Sake website, as part of their guest contributor series. You can read the full interview here.
